Monday, September 26, 2011

Looking Back, Moving Forward: Finding My Way Back

Hi all.  Hope this finds you well and in good spirits.  I'm not sure about you, but I am loving the arrival of fall and the atmosphere this beloved season brings.  The candles are out, some acorns and pinecones have found their way indoors, and I have a wreath to make darn it.  I've never made a fall wreath before.  There's a time for everything, right?  Time to get a move on it.  The smells of pumpkin spiced chai teas have been beckoning me to find my way to the Starbucks line every time I hit up my local Target.  I'm not ashamed to say that Target is my go to adventure spot lately.  It's where I go when I just need a moment to myself...and if I'm feeling like a bargain hunter...bright orange stickers can't hide from me.  :)

Maybe you've noticed, but there has been a lack of posting for some time now.  I sure have appreciated those of you that have commented or encouraged me, all without hearing back from me at all lately.  It's not that I don't feel a heartfelt gratitude for all the kind words and pop-ins, nor is my brain lacking any ideas for blog posts, finished pieces to photograph, recipes to try, and DIY projects to tackle.  I must say, I just simply haven't had the time to pull it all together on the computer.  You know how it goes.  Sometimes life just gets full, busy, lovely, frustrating, disorganized, and wonderful.  It happens.  To most of us...at one time or the other.  Life keeps our hands full, and some of our pleasures...our own personal To Dos...take a backseat.  Oh and in the spirit of being completely honest, I'm tired.  It's the truth.  I don't want to complain, but that is one of the reasons posts haven't been happening too.  I've been choosing to sleep instead.  Or attempting to sleep that is...my mind is not shutting off easily these days.  Hope you understand.  :)

And really what it comes down to is this guy.  Blogging definitely takes a backseat to this guy...and his multitude of bikes and cars and emergency vehicles (he's repurposed them all as ambulances, firetrucks, and police cars FYI) and our makeshift race track in the driveway.  In fact, this has been most of our August and September...just hanging out, riding in the driveway or to the park down the street.  Life around here is simple.  Good stuff.  Nothing beats it.  And just because it's fun to know, all the things you see here were hand me downs or bought second hand.  Does this little guy know any different?  You tell me!


Amongst all the plain ol' life adventures, I am in the process of redefining my normal...what normal looks like for us as a family of three and hopefully a future family of more.  I am praying, thinking, tackling, motivated, and overwhelmed.  I am filled with excitement and anticipation of what is to come.  For the past few nights, I've had trouble sleeping.  The other night, from about 2:00-5:00 AM, I woke up, and my mind was racing.  The wheels have not stopped turning.  I feel alive, joyful, and excited...and I feel like there is not enough time in the day!

Since starting my arthritis medicine again (read here if you want a little background), I have been doing a lot of looking back.  I can't help it.  We have come so far!  Since being married in 2003, I had a diagnosis of arthritis, experienced bouts of depression, struggled for over a year to get pregnant, stayed home to raise our soon to be three year old, struggled to get pregnant again, experienced active arthritis once again but as a Mom to a toddler, went back on serious arthritis medicine, and am finally learning what it means to be an adult managing a household.  We have been married for nearly 8 1/2 years, and I am just getting a chance to really take care of this house and our family.  How do people do it?!  :)  It's exciting, but I am struggling a bit to keep up.  It's a good struggle though.  I am cherishing this...this sense of normalcy.  And I am going for it, one task, one moment, one goal at a time.  It's been a doozy of an adventure, and I'm learning a lot.  I feel like I'm starting over and doing my best to make up for lost time.  We are a bit set in our ways and need to break some habits...personally and around the house.  It's so funny though...this time of looking back is truly propelling me to move forward with a vigor and joy I forgot I had in me.

What I know is this.  God has given me so much to be thankful for, so much to learn from...to grow from...and I am ready to give it my best shot.  Amongst it all, I am excited to continue making this house more of a home.  There has been so much I've wanted to do for so long, and now is the time to seize the moment.  I am looking to finish projects, start cooking again, get resourceful, and be creative.  My goal is to turn this house into more of a haven of sorts...a place to start...a  home that nurtures and inspires, welcomes us and others, reminds us of who our lives should reflect, and prepares us to be a light in this world.  I am not aiming for perfection, nor am I shooting for what they have, what she has, what he did, or what I saw in the Pottery Barn catalog this month.  I am going for a home filled with beauty, simplicity, comfort, inspiration, function, and love.  There will be purging, organizing, revamping, creating, cleaning, and getting rid of stuff.  Oh you unnecessary waste of space and money pit of stuff...we are going to slowly but surely work our way to ousting much of you!

There is something to be said of the mindset and lifestyle that allows for a clean, organized, and simple way of life.  It's a battle every day to be content with what we have and relish in the simple beauty around us.  It totally beats the constant acquisition of stuff and the need to grasp for more around every corner.

I'm sure looking forward to sharing more of my hallelujahs with you.  Thanks for sticking around!

Big hugs to you!
Here we go!







1 comment:

  1. Looks like we were on the same page for sure. I am proud of you and all that you have faced. They don't tell us when we are little that being a grown up is so difficult! :) Thinking of you and pulling for you and all that lies ahead!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for commenting here at Hallelujahs. It means so much to me. I read each and every one and am encouraged and inspired by you! I am shouting a big, "Hallelujah!" for your kindness!

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